Conversations between a preacher's wife and God. Conversations here are offered as composites of various struggles facing minister's wives in general. This blog acts as a mirror into the mind of various trials faced by ministers' wives I've met along my journey as a pastor's wife of 26 years. Any statements used here are purely coincidental to anyone specifically. Once posted and printed all material is [copyrighted by SelahV, 2006].

Thursday, June 04, 2009



Monday, February 12, 2007


Lord, you amaze me. You really do. Throughout history You have sought a relationship with man. You created man to have a relationship with you. You use to come down in the cool of the evening and walk in the Garden of Eden with him--fellowship and chat.

Although man sinned and I have done likewise, You still long to walk with me now. You loved me enough--in spite of myself--to send Your Son to attone for my sin and reconcile me back to You. And so much more than just setting a place at Your table in Your eternal mansion, You are preparing a room just for me. And while You're fluffing my pillows, and making my bed, You still take time for me here. As I wander about in this garden called life and work my way through all the weeds, You stand right beside me, You lead and You guide me to sit by the rivers of Life. And when I am quiet and rest in Your Grace, I find myself looking at you face to Face. I know You are You because You still speak and I'm so blessed by the tone of Your voice.

I'm ever grateful, my Father, that on this side of the door of eternity I can hear You talking to Your Son and know You are discussing my journey. I take comfort in knowing You are watching over me. When I ask, "Why is such and such happening?", it is not because I question You, Father. It's simply because the circumstances in life I trust to Your care. I seek to know what my part in Your plan I'm to follow. I know from experience, my way is not the best. So help to know when You'd have me to go, or when You'd rather I rest. Speak to me, oh Father. I stand at the door and knock. SelahV [copyrighted, selahvtoday,2007]

Monday, December 11, 2006



I'm totally spent. Too many things happened this weekend, Lord. Most people don't have this many things happen in a weekend. No, I'm not talking about activities.

The roller coaster, Lord. The up and down...the words, the emotions, the people, the circumstances. I'm just tired.

Yes, I know I can come to You. That's why I'm here. I am here to let you heal my brokenness. I'm hear to let you remold and make me after Your will. I'm here, Lord. I'm here. My mind is spinning. My heart is no longer beating. My soul is waiting. My body is simply a puddle of weariness.

I see every great and mighty and miraculous portion of You, Lord. My eyes have no scales. Yes, it is others. Others and their perception of who I am, what I am, why I am and where I am. No one has it right, Lord. Yes, Lord, you have blessed me so much with the rose. More blessed than with any other flower, but it doesn't change what I know is true. And I need to sleep. Sleep in Your arms. I cannot rest, I need to sleep. I'm coming, Lord. I'm coming. Where can I go? Where can I go? Where can I go but to You, Lord? Needing a friend Who'll help me in the end; where can I go but to You, Lord.

Thursday, November 30, 2006


I really wish I was simple, Lord. But I'm not. I'm so complex I can't figure me out. You knew me before I was ever born, Lord. You knitted me together in my mother's womb. What I want to know is why I didn't come with a set of instructions. Huh?

No, not Your Word, Lord. Something different. Something simple. You know; like a Reader's Digest version of life written on a 1st Grade level. Pictures. That's what I need. Pictures. I'd rather look at pictures than read any day. Humm? Yes, I do think Your world is the canvas of Your heart, Lord. But I still don't know why I like summer in winter and winter in summer. I don't know why I think so much. I don't know why I take such pleasure in watching these little letters show up on the screen in front of me. I don't know why this silly dog wants to lay on me when I want her to go lay somewhere else.

I don't know why I do what I don't want to do, and don't want to do all the things that I do. I don't get it! I'd really like to be one of the simple ones. You say in Psalm 116 in verse 6 that You preserve the simple.

What? The rest of it? Out loud? Okay, sure; "The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He helped and saved me." Whoa. No, I don't want to be brought low. I'm so low now I could jump rope under the bed, Lord. So You brought me here to show me something? Great, so this is as low as it gets. Whew, I'm soooo glad. And now You're gonna help me get my act together again? Good. Cause I already know You've saved me. Though I don't know why; I simply cannot grasp it.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


I feel so ignored lately, Lord. I wonder sometimes if I walked to the other side of the world if anyone would notice I was gone. Hmmm? Yes, Lord, I know.

I have my friend, BJ. You sent me Rose. But....huh? Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. And yes, I do know it's a holiday weekend. And I realize it's hard when family isn't around. Annnnd...a husband just wants to veg out in front of the TV. Of course, that's what I wanted. I wanted him to relax. To rest. What else do I want?

Well, I want conversation. I want feedback. I want, uh...yes, Lord! That's it! Approval. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe I'm just too needy, Lord. Hmmm?

Yes, I know You are here with me. And Lord, I am sooooo thankful You have given me an outlet for sharing my thoughts. (Though I know I whine far more than I praise.) Yes, Lord; of course I know I whine!

How can I not know my every little itty bitty weakness? I can't go through five minutes without Your Spirit tapping me on the shoulder or whispering verses in my ear.

Ears? No, Lord, ear! My right ear.

That's where I hear Your Holy Spirit. The left ear keeps getting all clogged up with the devil's garbled messages. Every time You say something, he says something. It's really quite annoying. I have a difficult time trying to follow directions when everything is perfectly clear. So when he's coming at me and You're guiding me, and I'm trying to lead my own way...well, it's nearly impossible to think, let alone walk.

Hmmmmmmn...I'm thinking.

Here I am whining about being ignored and all the while, You're trying to get my attention and I'm ignoring You! Thanks, Lord. I needed that reminder. [copyrighted, dani lee, selahV, 2006]

Friday, November 24, 2006


Lord, I'm so happy! You have answered my prayers!

For so long I've been concerned about my hubby. He's been working like the trumpet's about to blow and he's in charge of the entire universe. I'm so glad you've not only given him these two days of rest, but that he has two more before Monday.

Me? Well, of course I take care of him. He said just the other day that when he lets me get his coffee and pick up his socks that he's just letting me do what I was intended to do. Be his helpmate. Yes, I know he was kidding. He does far more for me than I could ever begin to do for him. Even if he doesn't do what I want when I want it done. Hmm? Right now?

I dont want anything, Lord. Just want him to rest. Rest his tired body. And, well, I'd love for You to bless him real good in the next few days. Refresh his spirit as well as his body. Fill him with wisdom for Sunday. Stir up his soul and restore the joy of Your salvation to him. Grant him your power to walk on, dear Lord. And in the days ahead, when all the world beckons, let him rest in Thee. Let him rest in Thee. [copyrighted, dani lee, 2006]

Thursday, November 23, 2006


Lord, I'm not feeling so grateful at the moment. I'm thinking grateful.

I think about how blessed I am. How wonderful You have been to me. I think about the nuts and bolts of life. Facts. Shelter. Provision. Relationships.

But sometimes--and I think right this moment is one of those times--I focus too much on me. Not enough on You, Almighty God.

You are the Maker of all mankind. You are beyond my comprehension. You are unfathomable in glory. You are all-powerful. You are in my thoughts, before my thoughts and after my thoughts.You, dear God in the heavens above and beyond our knowable universe, are merciful to the merciless.

Why oh Lord are You so good? Why do You continue to control Your wrath against our wickedness? Why do you love us who deserve nothing but your hate? Why do you allow us to play games with your world, your people, and stand by with such longsuffering? How do you tolerate our pettiness?

Oh my God. My loving loving Lord. I am so filthy. And You are so holy. In my cleanest moment, my purest thought, my most humble prayer and deepest contrition, I am still not worthy of Your Son's death upon the cross. I am so grateful Father, for Your Love unspeakable. Your Grace unmeasurable. Your Presence unchanging. I die again, my Lord. I die again.