I SURE WISH I WAS SIMPLE

I really wish I was simple, Lord. But I'm not. I'm so complex I can't figure me out. You knew me before I was ever born, Lord. You knitted me together in my mother's womb. What I want to know is why I didn't come with a set of instructions. Huh?

No, not Your Word, Lord. Something different. Something simple. You know; like a Reader's Digest version of life written on a 1st Grade level. Pictures. That's what I need. Pictures. I'd rather look at pictures than read any day. Humm? Yes, I do think Your world is the canvas of Your heart, Lord. But I still don't know why I like summer in winter and winter in summer. I don't know why I think so much. I don't know why I take such pleasure in watching these little letters show up on the screen in front of me. I don't know why this silly dog wants to lay on me when I want her to go lay somewhere else.

I don't know why I do what I don't want to do, and don't want to do all the things that I do. I don't get it! I'd really like to be one of the simple ones. You say in Psalm 116 in verse 6 that You preserve the simple.

What? The rest of it? Out loud? Okay, sure; "The Lord preserves the simple; I was brought low, and He helped and saved me." Whoa. No, I don't want to be brought low. I'm so low now I could jump rope under the bed, Lord. So You brought me here to show me something? Great, so this is as low as it gets. Whew, I'm soooo glad. And now You're gonna help me get my act together again? Good. Cause I already know You've saved me. Though I don't know why; I simply cannot grasp it.

IGNORE ME IF YA WANT TO

I feel so ignored lately, Lord. I wonder sometimes if I walked to the other side of the world if anyone would notice I was gone. Hmmm? Yes, Lord, I know.

I have my friend, BJ. You sent me Rose. But....huh? Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. And yes, I do know it's a holiday weekend. And I realize it's hard when family isn't around. Annnnd...a husband just wants to veg out in front of the TV. Of course, that's what I wanted. I wanted him to relax. To rest. What else do I want?

Well, I want conversation. I want feedback. I want, uh...yes, Lord! That's it! Approval. I don't know why, but I do. Maybe I'm just too needy, Lord. Hmmm?

Yes, I know You are here with me. And Lord, I am sooooo thankful You have given me an outlet for sharing my thoughts. (Though I know I whine far more than I praise.) Yes, Lord; of course I know I whine!

How can I not know my every little itty bitty weakness? I can't go through five minutes without Your Spirit tapping me on the shoulder or whispering verses in my ear.

Ears? No, Lord, ear! My right ear.

That's where I hear Your Holy Spirit. The left ear keeps getting all clogged up with the devil's garbled messages. Every time You say something, he says something. It's really quite annoying. I have a difficult time trying to follow directions when everything is perfectly clear. So when he's coming at me and You're guiding me, and I'm trying to lead my own way...well, it's nearly impossible to think, let alone walk.

Hmmmmmmn...I'm thinking.

Here I am whining about being ignored and all the while, You're trying to get my attention and I'm ignoring You! Thanks, Lord. I needed that reminder. [copyrighted, dani lee, selahV, 2006]

REST HE IN THEE

Lord, I'm so happy! You have answered my prayers!

For so long I've been concerned about my hubby. He's been working like the trumpet's about to blow and he's in charge of the entire universe. I'm so glad you've not only given him these two days of rest, but that he has two more before Monday.

Me? Well, of course I take care of him. He said just the other day that when he lets me get his coffee and pick up his socks that he's just letting me do what I was intended to do. Be his helpmate. Yes, I know he was kidding. He does far more for me than I could ever begin to do for him. Even if he doesn't do what I want when I want it done. Hmm? Right now?

I dont want anything, Lord. Just want him to rest. Rest his tired body. And, well, I'd love for You to bless him real good in the next few days. Refresh his spirit as well as his body. Fill him with wisdom for Sunday. Stir up his soul and restore the joy of Your salvation to him. Grant him your power to walk on, dear Lord. And in the days ahead, when all the world beckons, let him rest in Thee. Let him rest in Thee. [copyrighted, dani lee, 2006]

GRATEFUL IS AS GRATEFUL IS

Lord, I'm not feeling so grateful at the moment. I'm thinking grateful.

I think about how blessed I am. How wonderful You have been to me. I think about the nuts and bolts of life. Facts. Shelter. Provision. Relationships.

But sometimes--and I think right this moment is one of those times--I focus too much on me. Not enough on You, Almighty God.

You are the Maker of all mankind. You are beyond my comprehension. You are unfathomable in glory. You are all-powerful. You are in my thoughts, before my thoughts and after my thoughts.You, dear God in the heavens above and beyond our knowable universe, are merciful to the merciless.

Why oh Lord are You so good? Why do You continue to control Your wrath against our wickedness? Why do you love us who deserve nothing but your hate? Why do you allow us to play games with your world, your people, and stand by with such longsuffering? How do you tolerate our pettiness?

Oh my God. My loving loving Lord. I am so filthy. And You are so holy. In my cleanest moment, my purest thought, my most humble prayer and deepest contrition, I am still not worthy of Your Son's death upon the cross. I am so grateful Father, for Your Love unspeakable. Your Grace unmeasurable. Your Presence unchanging. I die again, my Lord. I die again.

SHOULD I BE PRAYING ABOUT THIS?

I wonder, Lord. She has been on my mind all day. I was reading some blogs and everywhere I went she was there. I was washing my dishes and she was there. I was brushing my teeth and she was there. I was watching TV and she was there. I was sitting in Sunday School and she was there. I tried to read and she was there.

Every thought I thought turned to thoughts of her. Is it because I don't agree with her? Is it because I think she is too sensitive and reads things into everything anyone says? Is it because You want me to pray for her? Huh? Well, no, I'm not angry. No, I'm not even miffed. I just feel....well, I feel so sad. When I think of her I feel sad. Hmmm?

Oh, no I don't think she is lost, Lord. I truly believe she knows You. I just think sometimes we all think we are doing everything for all the right reasons. And sometimes others are able to see what we can't see in ourselves, ya know? Well, of course You know. You are God, after all.

When we see our ways as right and others see us as pious and self-righteous, could it be our tone? Could it be we are a bit high and mighty as Mama use to say? I'm really struggling here, Lord. I like her. I do. But it bothers me when she has nothing positive to say to anyone unless they think like she does. Am I wrong here?

I know. We are not to think of ourselves higher than anyone else. We are not to look down on anyone. We are not You and we have no business trying to be You. I have no idea what someone else's motives are. But my spirit hurts when I hear some of the things she says to others. Help me, Lord to still my tongue. Help me, Lord to lasso my thoughts and bring them all into captivity. I don't like thinking sad things about her all day long. I don't even know if I should be praying about this. At least not with her in mind. Maybe it's me. [copyrighted, Dani Lee 2006]

WHAT I WANT DOESN'T MATTER

Lord I want so many things.

I want a new car. Or at the very least, I want a new exhaust system, air conditioning system, battery, shocks and brakes. It's really okay that my grandsons call my van the ghetto-mobile. I don't really care that it has that huge dent in the side panel that makes it so hard to open the sliding door. I don't even care that I don't have a CD player or that my upholstery is threadbare. I really don't. But I do care that it is safe to drive. I do care that carbon monoxide doesn't pour into the interior at every stoplight I must heed. Oh, well. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, I do want some other things. I want a digital camera. I am so tired of spending all that money on throw-away cameras that make my precious blue-eyed granddaughters into red-eyed monsters. (Cute monsters, but red-eye is so distracting.) And yes, I would like a laptop computer so I could sit in my recliner and type while my husband sits next to me watching the Patriots whoop up on those Bears. But, it doesn't matter, Lord.

Well, of course there's more. I'd like fourteen hundred dollars so I could get a root canal on my broken molar. Then I'd like to have it crowned in white porcelain, instead of that horrid silver thing that Abby thinks is ugly when I laugh. But it doesn't matter.

And I'd like the thirty-six hundred dollars to pay off my son's funeral bill so I could start saving for a new car.

And I'd like enough money to spend all I want for Christmas this year on everyone I love. I'd want a pair of glasses that actually have both the long and short of distance so I can toss these Dollar General things in the trash. And I want to go visit my dad in Tennessee, but know I can't because my car is in too bad a shape for a 2000 mile trip.

And I want You to actually tell me out loud--audibly--that everything I want is okay to want. And that I'm not selfish for wanting it.

But ultimately Lord--I know. It doesn't really matter what I want. It's what You want that matters. And I am praying for a heart that is consistent with Your desires more than anything else today. For I know that when I delight in You, You will give me the desires of my heart. May I delight all the more today than yesterday--and tomorrow than today, oh Lord my Father. May my heart be found beating in tune with Yours. [copyrighted Dani Lee, 2006]

WELL, I THOUGHT I MEANT THAT, LORD

Lord, you are so wonderful. You are greater than all I see on this earth. You are more than I can comprehend. You are...What? Back up a bit?

Yes, Lord. I meant what I said. You are greater than all I see. What do you mean am I sure? Of course, I'm sure. Who or what could be greater than You on this earth? Well, yes, I do like that new car my daughter bought. And I do think it would be nice to have one like it. I mean have you heard that muffler on my van? But there is no way I would think that a brand new SUV is greater than you, Lord. No way.

My house? Well, no I'm not all that attached to this house, either, Lord. It will be here tomorrow, all dusty like it was yesterday. So it can hardly compare to your splendor, Father. My grandkids? Well, uh...umm...gosh, Lord. How am I suppose to answer that? You know how much I love them. You know how great I think they are. And yes, I admit I spend far more time playing with them than I do reading Your Word. But You gave them to me, Lord. I do my best to be the greatest grama I can be. Isn't that what you want?

I thought so.

Huh? Well, yes, I do spend a lot of time fretting over ways to make them happy. What to get them for Christmas...stuff like that. You are right. I see Your point. I often put them higher on my priority list than You. I feel so bad when they're sick. I suppose I do worry needlessly sometimes. You care far more than I do for them.

Yes, I know I can trust You to do what's best in their lives. You are greater than all that is on this earth and yet the tiny little sparrow can't drop from a pine limb without Your eye upon it. Shucks, I can't even remember to put water in the bird-bath lately.

I'm sorry. I will trust you more. But I don't think I can stop spoiling my grandchildren. Afterall, I've learned that from You. You pour out so many blessings on me each day. And I am so grateful, Lord. Even when I forget to tell You so. [copyrighted Dani Lee, 2006]

BLESS WHO, LORD?

Lord, I'm so tired. I need to go to bed. Tomorrow's Your day. I need to be fresh and open to You. But I have so much on my mind.

Veterans Day. For several days now I've been watching stories and reports on TV about vets. I'm so very proud of those soldiers who've died for me to be free. I'm so grateful I was born in America, even though other countries hate us. I'm so proud to be an American, even though other Americans are ashamed to be Americans.

And I'm so concerned dear Lord about those young men and women serving around the world right now. Especially those in Iraq. I think about their families here in America. Please protect their children's hearts from pain. Give them comfort, Lord. Let them feel the warm embrace of Your love. And protect our military. What? The enemy? You mean the insurgents?

Oh Lord, I don't know. I don't think I can pray for their protection. I can pray for their hearts to change. Lord, help them see You. Let their eyes and hearts be opened. Let the scales of satan that blind them be removed. And...what? I can't Lord. I can't pray for you to bless them. Not tonite.

Didn't you see that young soldier who was killed over there? His family are Christians. They loved their son, their brother. I can pray that you bless them. But the ones who killed him? I just can't, Lord. What?

Yes, I know what your Word says. And I am praying for my enemies. I just can't see how You blessing them will help anything. No, Your ways are not my ways. And no, I'm not able to make the sun rise or the moon shine. Okay, Lord. I get the point. Please remove the scales from my eyes. Cause I simply can't see that right now.
[copyrighted, Dani Lee, SelahV, 2006]

A DREAM IS A WISH MY WHISK MAKES

I don’t want to throw it away, Lord. Hmmmn? Oh, my whisk. It has a broken wire. Sorry about that. I was thinking out loud again.

Yes, I know it is old. And I went to the store and bought a new one. It’s coated with this rubber or plastic stuff to keep it from nicking my pans. Those pans are quite sensitive, you know. And this old whisk is a bit rusty in places. I should probably toss it out. Huh?

Well, yes, Lord, it has served me well all these years. Chili, gravy, scrambled eggs, spaghetti sauce, Alfredo sauce, cream sauce. Not to mention cake batters and puddings when my electric mixer broke. Sometimes modern conveniences just don’t hold up, Lord. The power goes off in storms right in the middle of my banana pudding preparation. So that old wire whisk has really been a life-saver if you know what I mean. What?

Yes, Lord. I do like the new one I have. I made the best cream of broccoli soup yesterday with it. So why don’t I want to throw out the old whisk?

Because, Lord. There’s only one wire that is broken in two. And even with that broken wire, all the other wires work just fine. They still mix up the flour, salt and cocoa powder as good as ever when I make up my preacher’s oatmeal cookies that Margaret Pollock gave me the recipe for in our first pastorate. And then when I mixed in the milk and added the butter, well as soon as the heat was raised a hair, that whisk did a great job bringing it all together in a boil. Even though it did have that broken wire. Huh?

Why did I buy a new whisk if my old one worked fine? Well, I’m sorry, Lord. I guess this is where I need to confess my pride issue. That new one looks so much prettier in my cutlery crock. When folks come visiting, it will look so much nicer. And they’ll be impressed with my lovely neat, orderly countertop assembly. The color is much cheerier and... Excuse me, say again….?

No, Lord. I don’t think I can throw out the old whisk. I’ll just tuck it inside my junk drawer. I know it’s there. And it is my back up. Just in case someone comes in and steals that new one that looks so pretty. And yes, Lord. I will work on that pride issue.